Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Humour in Hospital #2 - The Ups and Downs of Hospitals

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I guess I have a lot of experience on how it feels to be a patient. But, if you've read my previous posts about how I managed to remain happy and positive despite my illness, you may just realise that I view the suffering of my family - my primary carers - as being much worse than my own. 

I mean, I could go through all the hard things associated with cancer treatment with a smile on my face, knowing that I could still be happy, and that someday all this will be left behind in my past. 

But it'd be a completely different story if that was someone I knew closely who was lying there on that bed for months on end. The pain, the angst, the worry and the fact that I couldn't do much about it seems tenfold worse than anything I went through in my eyes. 

What amazed me about my family most was how they managed to always stay happy and cheerful around me. 

The journey up those lifts to my ward every day, worrying about whether a fever had settled or not yet, wondering why my blood-counts weren't picking up, all the while juggling bundles of food, blankets and clothing was hard enough as it was - but to do that and still manage to put on a smile between the lift doors and my room's - seemed extraordinary. 

But, like me and my hilarious encounter with the MaryJohnson, funny little things kept them sane on those lonely, empty lifts. 


I remember, only a few days after starting my treatment, a little kid, probably the son of another patient, who used to run around the corridors of the ward every few days. One day - dad invited him to peer through my window and wave. He was wearing a superman costume - with Clark Kent glasses to match. It was crazy, it was weird - but that smile as he waved his chubby hands was more infectious than anything I'd picked up while in hospital.
A few days later, dad came in smiling a little more than usual. 
 
"What's up?" 

"I met Superman again today," he began, chuckling as he sank into the couch by my bed.
"I was coming up the lifts today and it opened on level four instead of five. But no-one was coming in. I looked down and there he was, smiling at me, the cheeky bugger."
"So I looked at him, up and down and he looked back at me - still smiling. I asked him, 'You pressed the button didn't ya?' And he just stood there, hands on hip and said 'Nup." And ran away as the door closed."

It was ridiculous, it was stupid. But damn - just thinking about that smiling kid made me crack a smile. 

More importantly, it made Dad smile. 



My stem cell transplant, almost 2 years back now, meant a transfer to a new hospital - from Liverpool where I had my first few rounds of chemo to St Vincent's - in the city. It was scary. Not only because it was dangerous, also because I was getting it in a new place - with new nurses and new doctors and, more scarily, new complications. 

But it wasn't 100% new. I was the first person to stay in my first room in a new ward in Liverpool hospital - so I got a nicely furnished, freshly painted and, more importantly, well decked out room with a new, flat-screen TV. What I was stuck with now for at least a month though was a smaller, more cramped room with a tiny box of a television that didn't even show half the channels. 

Mum and dad begged the head nurse and ward technician to allow us to bring in our own TV from home. But we were denied - some technicality about having to get approval by a government agency before allowing electronics in hospital rooms (no matter how safe the instrument may be). They asked around, tried appealing to the electrical department of the hospital and pulled every string they could - but all to no avail. 

One night, the night before I was to start radiation prior to the transplant, Dad had had enough. I was getting deadly bored in that room, and as it was my to be my last trip out of hospital for at least a month, so Dad stashed away our huge 40 inch TV into the boot and drove to St Vincent's at 9:30 pm while I wasn't looking. 

I looked on in amazement and burst out laughing as he pulled the huge thing out of the boot and tucked it - somehow - under his arm. Ushering me ahead, urging me to hush the whole while, we walked over to the front entrance, not even blinking as we passed the curious security guard who let buzzed us through the now closed glass doors.

We waited patiently by the lift as the levels blinked down towards the ground floor excruciatingly slowly, only just managing to hold in our laughter until after the lift doors shut. Trying to compose myself and hold back the laughter as the lift trundled up towards ward 9 south was one of the hardest things I'd ever done. The short walk to my bedroom , dad sweating profusely as he held the 40kilogram TV while maintaining a straight face must have been at least ten times harder. 

That thirty second ride with Dad cracking up - to the point where he almost dropped the damn thing on his feet on two occasions - and me struggling to smother a giggle that just wouldn't stop was longer than any biopsy, any training session, any boring lecture in my life. And, surprisingly, it happened to be on that usually depressing journey to my cell. 

And it transformed this hospital room


Into this



 Being comfortable really helps making it that much more bearable. 

A talk I did in front of THE LIVERPOOL FOOTBALL CLUB about this very story!

And now - to the tale of the mysterious butter lift. Held in wide regard as a myth by those who know of it, it remains lost to this day. Unbeknownst previously to this rendition of the tale, though, is the fact that it does indeed exist. 

'Twas said that in the dead of winter of the legendary year of 2011, sometime before his kinsmen's second battle with the fierce foe of Chemotherapius, that Nirav, the Brother of the Afflicted, had buried a secret treasure - unbeknownst to his enemies, the evil Janitorès, somewhere in the depths of their hideout.  

'Twas a stick of the most divine cream purloined by the Spirits, the most sumptuous, nourishing supplement plucked from the bosom of Meadow Lea herself and stolen by the knave in a daring raid of their fortunes.

'Tis said, that this marvelous delight, this sweet nectar, this most perfect stick of butter was sequestered somewhere in the vast reaches of a particular lift in the Infirmiry that is Liverpool Hospital. 

The charlatan, Nirav, did himself tell me of this curious treasure but a few morns ago, and eagerly I trekked out in search of this amazing treasure which he insisted still remains unclaimed to this day. Together with a swathe of young scallywags, I embarked on a journey to find this mysterious rune. After an eternity of scouring the various lifts of the hospital, I chanced upon a glimmer of gold and, to my utter surprise, beheld the legendary stick of butter that had been lost years ago.

It still remains, to this day, hidden in the depths of the Lifts of Liverpool Hospital, as fresh and pure as the day it was packaged, preserved and plundered - waiting to be found by those daring enough to try. 


Will you be the one to find it?



 ***

Whenever I'd think about that minute my family spent alone in the lifts, the sheer stillness and time spent doing nothing but thinking about my struggle seems daunting. I'd imagine them standing there, brooding about my struggle - maybe even crying at times. But these little tales with their associated  quips, these seemingly trivial occurrences, these outstandingly odd events just make it seem that little bit more bearable. 

And if anyone manages to find that pack of butter - leave a picture of it in its previous abode and I'll shout you a Subway footlong if it's still there when I have a look... 

And it is still there (2 years on). I Checked.


https://www.facebook.com/musingsofamedstudentpatient <-- If you or a loved one needs help or if you enjoy my blogs or if you're interested in medicine, like my page on facebook =]


26 comments:

  1. I have to say that the above is all true.....all were attempts to keep Nik smiling and fighting on and boy he is doing a great job......God bless him and you all readers too.......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so glad to write this article today to tell the world how Chief Dr

      Lucky cured my HPV virus that have been in my body since five years ago,

      ever since then my life has been in complete,i have used so many drugs that

      was prescribed to me by several doctors,but it didn't cure my HPV VIRUS

      neither did it reduce the pain, i was checking for solution on the internet

      then miraculously came across Chief Dr Lucky the powerful herbalist that

      cure HPV INFECTION,then i contacted his email, i explained everything to

      him and he prepared a herbal cure and send it to me that was how i got

      cured from HPV disease totally after receiving his herbal medicine, so my

      friends viewers why waiting and be suffering with this HPV virus when there

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      you can contact his via email:

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      Whats App or call

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      Delete
    2. Am Hellen, thanks to Dr oniha who cured me of INREGULAR MENSTRATION and fibroid with his herbal MEDICATION. My marriage was on the verge of collapsing, because I was unable to bear a child for my husband. Until I came across Dr ONIHA's recommendation onLine,of how he has helped numerous of childless couples to have children with the help of his wonderful herbal medication, and I contacted him. And he administered his herbs on me.within the space of two months, i became pregnant, I now have a child I can call my own. In case you want to contact him for a similar problem, or all other infertilty issues, you can reach him through his email:
      DRONIHASPELL@YAHOO.COM or call him on +2347089275769

      Delete
    3. Hello, everyone! I,m here to explore blogs and forum about the wonderful and most safe cure for (Herpes Virus).I was positive to the deadly virus called herpes and i lost hope because i was out casted and rejected even by my closet friends.i searched on-line to know and enquirer about cure for Herpes and i read someone testimony on how he was cured from Herpes so i decided to contact the same herbalist because i know that nature has the power to heal everything.i contacted him to know how he can help me and he told me never to worry that he will heal me with the natural herbs from God!after 2 days of contacting him, he told me that the cure has been ready and he sent it to me via DHL and it got to me after 3 days!i used the med as he instructed me (MORNING and EVENING) and i was cured!its really like a dream but i am so happy!thats the reason i decided to also add more comment of Him so that more can be saved just like me!and if you need his help, you can email him on nativehealthclinic@gmail.com, Instagram IG: @dremmanuel2 or whatsapp +2348140073965 I,m neme amber and you can get in touch with me via nemeamber@gmail.com..Contact him for help at Herpes virus HIV/AIDS CANCER COPD BRAIN TUMOR All kind of virus and disease

      Delete
    4. So some days ago I was on the internet and found a lady complaining of recurrent herpes symptoms and how this has damaged her relationships, also on the post I read about how many people say that herpes has come to stay forever and that there will never be a cure for it. The truth is I am a living proof that there are remedies to herpes, I am 42 this year and I had herpes before and it all went away in 2017 after weeks of having to use a certain herbs medication from an online store naturalherbsremedystore.square.site email ( dr.osojo@gmail.com ), my doctor certified the medicine as good to digest and just not less than 3 weeks of using the herbs. I realized the recurrence symptoms were gone and medical results were carried out and confirmed that I no longer had it.
      So to many people who think this particular herbal remedy is fake or it isn't certified, that is not true, I will urge one of you to try it out and let me know the result too.  drosojoherbalcure.wixsite.com/ofalldisease

      Delete
  2. You can't get free subways off me dad lol. don't go posting a pic of it haha

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'll probably use your money anyways.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  8. I am so glad to write this article today to tell the world how Chief Dr

    Lucky cured my HPV virus that have been in my body since five years ago,

    ever since then my life has been in complete,i have used so many drugs that

    was prescribed to me by several doctors,but it didn't cure my HPV VIRUS

    neither did it reduce the pain, i was checking for solution on the internet

    then miraculously came across Chief Dr Lucky the powerful herbalist that

    cure HPV INFECTION,then i contacted his email, i explained everything to

    him and he prepared a herbal cure and send it to me that was how i got

    cured from HPV disease totally after receiving his herbal medicine, so my

    friends viewers why waiting and be suffering with this HPV virus when there

    is someone like Chief Dr Lucky that can cure any disease HIV/ CANCER/

    HEPATITIS C VIRUS,HERPES VIRUS,ALS VIRUS.

    you can contact his via email:

    chiefdrlucky@gmail.com

    Whats App or call

    +2348132777335

    Website : http://chiefdrluckysolutionhome.website2.me/

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  9. I am John Danilla from UK( northern ireland), i want to share a
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  10. I was diagnosed of HERPES Virus in 2016 and I have tried all I can to get cured but all to no avail, until i saw a post in a health forum about a herbalist man who prepare herbal medication to cure all kind of diseases including HERPES virus, at first i doubted if it was real but decided to give it a try , when i contact this herbalist via his email and he prepared a HERPES herbal cure and sent it to me via UPS delivery company service, when i received this herbal cure, he gave me step by directions on how to apply it, when i applied it as instructed, i was totally cured of this deadly disease within 14days of usage, I am now free from the deadly disease called herpes, all thanks to Dr.agege you can rich this great herbal doctor via his email: (dragegeherbalhome@gmail.com) or WhatsApp him +2348110560429
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    ReplyDelete
  11. Hello everyone. I was heartbroken because i had very small penis, not nice to satisfy a woman, i had so many relationship called off because of my situation, i have used so many product which i found online but none could offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments about this doctor called Dr Udi and I decided to email him on: drudiherbalhome@gmail.com so decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal cream for Penis Enlargement, Within 1 week of it, i began to feel the enlargement of my penis, " and now it just 2 weeks of using his products my penis is about 9 inches longer and strong. I'm so happy..feel free to contact Dr Udi on his Email: drudiherbalhome@gmail.com or you can call or what-app him +238051243538 or you can visit his website
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  12. I want to use this opportunity I have to say a big thanks to Dr Ojabu for getting back my ex husband. I'm Lisa Campbell from England, after 7 years of marriage my husband left me for another woman I did whatever I could to get him back but all I did was in vain I was sad, but I didn't lose hope of getting him back because I had faith in God. So I search online on how to get my husband back, and I came across a post of Dr Ojabu of how he helped a lady to get back her ex, I contacted him and told him the pain I was going through, he told me what to do and I did it, then he casted a love spell for me 48 hours later my husband called me and told me he is sorry for what he did and that he misses me very much, later that day he came back home and beg for my forgiveness, since then our love grew stronger. For the marvelous things Dr Ojabu has done for me it would be unfair for me not to let the whole world know that such a powerful spell caster do live. If you want to get back your ex fast email Dr Ojabu at drojabusolutiontemple@gmail.com or add him up on WhatsApp +2348039177826...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Am Hellen, thanks to Dr oniha who cured me of INREGULAR MENSTRATION and fibroid with his herbal MEDICATION. My marriage was on the verge of collapsing, because I was unable to bear a child for my husband. Until I came across Dr ONIHA's recommendation onLine,of how he has helped numerous of childless couples to have children with the help of his wonderful herbal medication, and I contacted him. And he administered his herbs on me.within the space of two months, i became pregnant, I now have a child I can call my own. In case you want to contact him for a similar problem, or all other infertilty issues, you can reach him through his email:
    DRONIHASPELL@YAHOO.COM or call him on +2347089275769

    ReplyDelete
  14. hello everyone . I want to share this testimony how Dr.lucky help me, i was having a small penis and weak erection problem. I can't make love to my wife for 5 minute and my penis was just too small a full grown man like me having 3 inches penis and to worsen it i don't last in sex i cannot even last 5 minutes it was really a thing of shame to me. My wife was really tired of me because my sex life was very poor,she never enjoyed sex,i was always thinking and searching for a solutions everywhere and i came across a testimony of Mr john kelly testifying that DR LUCKY helped him to enlarge his penis,i decided to give him a try and to my greatest surprise in less than one week of using his herbal cream, my penis grow to 7 inches i couldn't believe my eyes and as i speak now my penis is now 11.5 inches and i do not have weak erection again. I can make love to my wife longer in bed. And my marriage is now stable,my wife now enjoy me very well in bed. You can contact him
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    ReplyDelete
  15. i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
    or
    call/whatsapp:+2349057261346










    i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
    or
    call/whatsapp:+2349057261346

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hello, everyone! I,m here to explore blogs and forum about the wonderful and most safe cure for (Herpes Virus).I was positive to the deadly virus called herpes and i lost hope because i was out casted and rejected even by my closet friends.i searched on-line to know and enquirer about cure for Herpes and i read someone testimony on how he was cured from Herpes so i decided to contact the same herbalist because i know that nature has the power to heal everything.i contacted him to know how he can help me and he told me never to worry that he will heal me with the natural herbs from God!after 2 days of contacting him, he told me that the cure has been ready and he sent it to me via DHL and it got to me after 3 days!i used the med as he instructed me (MORNING and EVENING) and i was cured!its really like a dream but i am so happy!thats the reason i decided to also add more comment of Him so that more can be saved just like me!and if you need his help, you can email him on nativehealthclinic@gmail.com, Instagram IG: @dremmanuel2 or whatsapp +2348140073965 I,m neme amber and you can get in touch with me via nemeamber@gmail.com..Contact him for help at Herpes virus HIV/AIDS CANCER COPD BRAIN TUMOR All kind of virus and disease

    ReplyDelete
  17. Battling with any health related issues or infection is not the end of your life, why not contact a herbal practitioner for cure Dr Ogedegbe has herbal remedies and permanent solution for all your health related problems.I recommend him to you today only because i have also used his herbal medicine and it worked perfectly on my health problem, you can actually save yourself from giving your hard earned money to Scammers if only you can contact Dr Ogedegbe today for genuine and Permanent cure herbal products . Pls help share this post to save yourself and your love ones.Dr Ogedegbe is specialize in these areas,Permanent herbal supplements for anxiety and depression,HIV/AIDS, DIABETES, HERPES, PENIS ENLARGEMENT, CANCER, HPV, ALS.  .. etc. Email: dr.ogedegbe6@gmail.com also call or whatsApp him on +2348109374702...........

    ReplyDelete
  18. I want to give a testimony on how I got cured from Herpes Virus. Few months back I was having some symptoms . I went to see a doctor and many blood tests were done on me, later on I was told I had Herpes. My doctor told me that there's no cure for Herpes I felt bad, I went online searching for a possible cure for Herpes Virus, I saw a post of Dr Aba a herbal doctor that's helping people get cured from HIV, HEPATITIS B, CANCER e.t.c. I contacted him and told him how I'm feeling and he said his herbal medicine can cure me. He sent me the medicine via UPS delivery service and I received the medicine some days after he sent it, i took the medicine as prescribed by him. Before the completion of the medication the symptoms stopped. I went to the doctor and carried out another blood test, surprisingly I was Negative. I haven't had any symptoms anymore. Dr. Aba is great and you can contact via (drabaherbalcenter@gmail.com) or message him on via whatsApp at +2349050514983   

    ReplyDelete
  19. My name is Mrs Aisha Mohamed, am a Citizen Of Qatar.Have you been looking for a loan?Do you need an urgent personal loan or business loan?contact Dr James Eric Finance Home he help me with a loan of $42,000 some days ago after been scammed of $2,800 from a woman claiming to been a loan lender but i thank God today that i got my loan worth $42,000.Feel free to contact the company for a genuine financial service. Email:(financialserviceoffer876@gmail.com) call/whats-App Contact Number +918929509036

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hello everyone, sharing this testimony is my greatest happiness also to let every patient know there is cure to get rid of  human papillomavirus. I was once a HPV patient  for a very long time. I have been taking medications because my doc in Canada told me there is no cure except pills to control it which i have been taking. Until I found a faithful and truthful herbalist who finally cured me with herbal  remedy. Everything about the virus was gone, my genital warts I have been trying to remove, they all cleared off. Here is the herbalist information to reach him via  dragumbasolutioncenter@gmail.com or his website  https://dragumbasolutioncent.wixsite.com/spell   whatsapp contact +2349032173881  Dr Agumba is great and very kind to every patient.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hello Everyone out there,I am here to give my testimony about a Herbalist doctor who helped me . I was infected with HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS in 2011, i went to many hospitals for cure but there was no solution, so I was thinking how can I get a solution out so that my body can be okay. One day I was in the river side thinking where I can go to get solution. so a lady walked to me telling me why am I so sad and i open up all to her telling her my problem, she told me that she can help me out, she introduce me to a doctor who uses herbal medication to cure HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS and gave me his email, so i mail him. He told me all the things I need to do and also give me instructions to take, which I followed properly. Before I knew what is happening after two weeks the HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS that was in my body got vanished . so if you are also heart broken and also need a help, you can also email him at {oliha.miraclemedicine@gmail.com}
    or whatsapp him number: +2349038382931. or website is https://olihamiraclemedicine.webs.com/
    Contact him today and you will have a testimony...Good luck!

    Dr. OLIHA Also Cures:
    1. HIV/AIDS
    2. HERPES 1/2
    3. CANCER
    4. ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease)
    5. Hepatitis B
    6. chronic pancreatic
    7. Emphysema
    8. COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease

    ReplyDelete
  22. So some days ago I was on the internet and found a lady complaining of recurrent herpes symptoms and how this has damaged her relationships, also on the post I read about how many people say that herpes has come to stay forever and that there will never be a cure for it. The truth is I am a living proof that there are remedies to herpes, I am 42 this year and I had herpes before and it all went away in 2017 after weeks of having to use a certain herbs medication from an online store naturalherbsremedystore.square.site email ( dr.osojo@gmail.com ), my doctor certified the medicine as good to digest and just not less than 3 weeks of using the herbs. I realized the recurrence symptoms were gone and medical results were carried out and confirmed that I no longer had it.
    So to many people who think this particular herbal remedy is fake or it isn't certified, that is not true, I will urge one of you to try it out and let me know the result too.  drosojoherbalcure.wixsite.com/ofalldisease

    ReplyDelete

It's your turn!
What are your thoughts? Any similar experiences? Want to talk about something?